I would say I did a lot when I was younger like go out, hit up some parties, whatever. Now I work and go to school and go out like once a week. It fucking sucks. Nobody even tries to understand me, I don’t get it. I would say I’m pretty fucking loyal but I feel like people act shady to me. It’s honestly time for me to open my eyes and stop being so nice because I don’t get shit in return. No one hits me up to do anything anymore. My mom doesn’t understand that I’m young and wanna go out, not work every damn weekend!!!! I’m not even happy. I always put up a front but deep down I haven’t been genuinely happy in a long fucking time. Im not saying my life sucks and I hate the world. But I just wish things were better for me and to actually and genuinely be happy. That’s it

Lol I like being single and I have way more important stuff to worry about but sometimes I think it would be nice to have a boyfriend. You know? Just someone to kiss and cuddle with and talk to everyday, give you that kind of love and affection, list goes on. Buuuuut I have no luck! It’s like I don’t give people that are interested in me the time of day but instead waste it thinking about people who wouldn’t give ME the time of day! *sigh I’m almost 17, shits getting lonely ):

I haven’t been on tumblr in soooo long. Been busy with school and work and……Twitter lol I’m so surprised no one unfollowed me considering the fact that my page is like dead. Haha sorry, I’ll definitely try to get on this more often. I kinda miss it

Things with family and some with friends. Really opened my eyes. I can honestly say that even though my friends are still my friends they’re not what I used to think of. I used to think friends are an important part of your life and they’ll ride it out til the end, yada yada. Yeah it’s important to have friends but they’re just people you assosiate yourselves with daily. I keep to myself more now, I really do. These are just things you learn as you grow up.

It’s crazy because I used to go on every chance I could! I miss it but Twitter is where I’m at for now lol catch me there?! @NalyMeng

Beside Family, I don’t and never did trust anyone completely. Even though Family can do messed up things sometimes, they’re Family.. Always and will be number 1. Lately, I noticed that some friends can be shady… And some distance themselves from you. That’s just how it goes, but I’ll try to maintain our friendships if I think you’re worth it but if not you’ll be right with all the other bitches I left behind. Have no time for people that will just drag me along.

I’d rather hope that the guilt eats you up inside

No matter how close you are with someone, they’ll fuck you over. I know that no ones perfect but shitttt that’s a low blow. Not that I care about so and so but that’s not cool on your part. I know I’ll forgive you soon because regardless you’re my bestfriend but now our friendships tainted, that’s all I have to say!

I hate going through this. This is the most fucked up part of my life, although it happens so often I’m not used to dealing with it and I wish it would just stop. Nobody fucking knows how worried I get all the time. All I want is to not have to worry about stuff like this, but it’s out of my control.

Honestly, I’m afraid of rejection. It’s kinda ironic because I’m usually the one ‘rejecting’ guys. Anyway, I had a big crush on this one guy who seemed like he had everything going for him, handsome, sweet, athletic, etc. But I was too afraid to say something and before I knew it he had a gf. Now I probably sound crazy but I saw this other guy at a party and thought he was sooo cute, and ever since I had this crush on him lol plus hearing that he’s sweet is a plus. Thing is I don’t have any courage to approach him because I’m sooo afraid he’ll think I’m a loser or something lol I don’t know what it is but I have this strong feeling about him. I want to act on my instincts because I don’t want lose my chance like i did with the other guy but I can’t seem to do it. I think if I had a clue as to if he finds me attractive it’d be easier to do something but i don’t think he even knows my name. Lmao Omg, you guys probably think I’m nuts but I never really have ‘crushes’ so don’t judge me. Haha Well that’s all.. Makes me kind of sad though